An Advice Blog?
QUESTION 1 FROM SINGLE STRAIGHT GAL IN THE CITY
Here's my situation. Just want to know why he might have done this. So I meet a guy we exchanged phone #'s, he told me I was gorgeous. The next day I called him .... we played phone tag but finally spoke. We talked for an hr he asked me about past relationships, family, etc. At the beginning of the conversation he mentioned he was at dinner with family friends. Then before we hung up after he had chatted outside for an hr. he said he would call me the next day. Well its been 3 days and he didn't call....Should I call him or just wait to see if he calls me.... What do you think?? Thx,
JUNIOR SAYS:
Don't call him and move on.
1. He's not interested and that's his unevolved way of letting you know. Most men, Gay or straight don't know how to say, "I'm not interested", especiallly if they already hit on you and gave you the signal that they are. It's just not an easy thing to say and of course, it's not an easy thing to hear.
NOTE TO YOU: It in no way reflects who you are as a person. He doesn't know you
2. If he is genuinely interested and hasn't had the courtesy to call, then do you really want someone that inconsiderate of another person? It sets a bad precedent. I don't care if his Mom is in the hospital or he broke his arm bike riding. I think you've waited long enough.
3. I'm not a "professional" BUT I have been dating most of my adult life, as a Gay man, and the issues aren't that different, especially since my two long-term relationships were with straight men. One is married and working on having children and the other is divorced BUT still not Gay!
4. Believe it or not, Gay men and straight men do hangout and talk. The benefit here, for you straight women, is that more often than not the men will say what's on their mind, to us. It's like they can because we're not women but they don't really consider us "men". I don't particularly like that my straight male friends don't view me as a "man" but I've used it to my benefit and to the benefit of my straight female friends.
QUESTION 2 FROM ANOTHER SINGLE STRAIGHT GIRL IN THE CITY
I have been broken up for a year or more and don't want to date because I can't seem to be attracted to other people. The only person I am attracted TO are those who look like him. I once almost approached a guy to ask him out because he looked so much like the last one. i Keep telling myself that things will get better in time, but it still lingers on. Any words of wisdom?
JUNIOR SAYS:
I don't see what's wrong with dating or sleeping with somone who looks like him. It may be the thing that helps you get over him or not but it's a start in the right direction; away from the last boyfriend. The guy won't be the same person, different voice, mannerisms, smell, taste and tastes.
If you do get the nerve to ask out the next guy who looks like your ex, remember not to compare them and that goes for anyone else you meet after.
No one will be like the last, which is not a bad thing but I've got to be honest and say that it doesn't mean it will be better!
Here's my situation. Just want to know why he might have done this. So I meet a guy we exchanged phone #'s, he told me I was gorgeous. The next day I called him .... we played phone tag but finally spoke. We talked for an hr he asked me about past relationships, family, etc. At the beginning of the conversation he mentioned he was at dinner with family friends. Then before we hung up after he had chatted outside for an hr. he said he would call me the next day. Well its been 3 days and he didn't call....Should I call him or just wait to see if he calls me.... What do you think?? Thx,
JUNIOR SAYS:
Don't call him and move on.
1. He's not interested and that's his unevolved way of letting you know. Most men, Gay or straight don't know how to say, "I'm not interested", especiallly if they already hit on you and gave you the signal that they are. It's just not an easy thing to say and of course, it's not an easy thing to hear.
NOTE TO YOU: It in no way reflects who you are as a person. He doesn't know you
2. If he is genuinely interested and hasn't had the courtesy to call, then do you really want someone that inconsiderate of another person? It sets a bad precedent. I don't care if his Mom is in the hospital or he broke his arm bike riding. I think you've waited long enough.
3. I'm not a "professional" BUT I have been dating most of my adult life, as a Gay man, and the issues aren't that different, especially since my two long-term relationships were with straight men. One is married and working on having children and the other is divorced BUT still not Gay!
4. Believe it or not, Gay men and straight men do hangout and talk. The benefit here, for you straight women, is that more often than not the men will say what's on their mind, to us. It's like they can because we're not women but they don't really consider us "men". I don't particularly like that my straight male friends don't view me as a "man" but I've used it to my benefit and to the benefit of my straight female friends.
QUESTION 2 FROM ANOTHER SINGLE STRAIGHT GIRL IN THE CITY
I have been broken up for a year or more and don't want to date because I can't seem to be attracted to other people. The only person I am attracted TO are those who look like him. I once almost approached a guy to ask him out because he looked so much like the last one. i Keep telling myself that things will get better in time, but it still lingers on. Any words of wisdom?
JUNIOR SAYS:
I don't see what's wrong with dating or sleeping with somone who looks like him. It may be the thing that helps you get over him or not but it's a start in the right direction; away from the last boyfriend. The guy won't be the same person, different voice, mannerisms, smell, taste and tastes.
If you do get the nerve to ask out the next guy who looks like your ex, remember not to compare them and that goes for anyone else you meet after.
No one will be like the last, which is not a bad thing but I've got to be honest and say that it doesn't mean it will be better!
posted by Eddy at 3:36 PM
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